


Premier Amour

by astrangetypeofchemistry



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, LadyNoir - Freeform, Love Confessions, Partial Identity Reveal, adrienette - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangetypeofchemistry/pseuds/astrangetypeofchemistry
Summary: It has always been said that you never move on from your first love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [insp.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H08z4uCY1UE&t=3s)

To Adrien, Ladybug is like the soft tinkling of the piano.

She’s the notes he spends weeks tinkering into the perfect melody, every key melding into the soft music.

She’s the tune he embeds deep into his mind, playing in a loop as he lives through the day.

Tonight, Ladybug is also his classmate, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

* * *

 It’s February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day, and Ladybug and Chat Noir sit in an awkward silence.

There had been multiple akumas in the past day; rejections on Valentine’s always made people vulnerable to becoming akumas, all hell-bent on ruining the day of lovers.

One akuma, dedicated to spilling people’s most-guarded secrets, had gotten a hit on Ladybug.

Chat had assumed that the secret would’ve been her identity. Instead, it had been her standing earnestly in front of him, telling him that she was in love with him, yet terrified of admitting it because she didn’t know how deep his feelings for her really were. She’d instantly frozen up, turning towards the akuma with a vengeance he’d never seen her possess.

They hadn’t talked when the _papillon_ had finally been purified, and Ladybug had swung away without even looking at him.

He’d spent the day incredibly wound up, not sure if Ladybug would even show up for patrol. Plagg’s suggestion had been to scout all over Paris, and he’d found the spotted superheroine sitting on a roof near the street where she’d confessed. He’d frozen up with a squeak, and she’d turned to see him, panic flooding her expression.

And, although seh’d scooted over to make room for him with a pained groan, Chat got the sneaking suspicion she’d hoped he wouldn’t find her tonight.

They’ve been sitting like that for too long, the atmosphere tense, before Chat Noir finally releases a big sigh and turns towards his partner.

“I think we need to talk, LB.”

She takes a deep breath before turning towards him as well, shooting a lackluster smile. Her eyes, Chat notes in horror, are slowly gathering moisture. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Ladybug, I-”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” she repeats forcefully, and Chat blinks as he hears her voice crack. He wants to talk, _he really wants to talk this out_ , but.

Ladybug isn’t ready yet. And he can’t force her.

So he nods. Turns away. Hears her breath of relief.

In that moment, he vows that, once they talk, she’ll never question how genuine his feelings are ever again.

* * *

 Lunch with Nino, Alya, and Marinette always lifts his spirits. The four of them go out every Friday, on a quest to see if any other establishment in Paris creates better food than _Tom and Sabine’s._

So far, they haven’t found a single one.

“I’ve got a good feeling about this one,” Alya shoots over her shoulder towards them. Adrien smiles at her, his hand reaching out to grab Marinette before she veers off.

Alya notices and shoots him a tight-lipped smile, glancing at Marinette in worry. She’s been distracted all week, and Alya had reported to him and Nino that the pigtailed girl had refused to talk about whatever was bothering her.

Adrien studies her now, her hands gripping her elbows as she walked with her head tilted downwards. He can’t see her bottom lip at all, and realizes a little late that she’s probably chewing it to death.

“Stop it,” he ends up saying, and then shrinks down when she looks at him. “You shouldn’t chew your lip,” he responds meekly.

She studies him for a full minute, her eyes scanning every crevice of his face before nodding and turning. Adrien feels Alya’s gaze on them, and catches her eye as she smile as she turns away, grabbing Nino’s arm and marching ahead of them.

Walking next to Marinette, Adrien feels awkward, and scrambles for a conversation. “So…” Marinette’s blue eyes meet his, and Adrien chokes at the how bright the color really is before gaining control. “How was your Valentine’s Day?”

He realizes it’s the wrong thing to ask when she immediately looks away, her gaze flitting to everything but him. She eventually ends up shaking her head, still refusing to look his way.

“Me neither,” he confesses after a full minute of silence ticks by. Marinette looks at him then, contemplating before seeming to reach a consensus.

“Do you remember the akuma that confessed your deepest secret?”

For a minute, Adrien feels taken aback. Whenever they have conversations, Marinette _always_ stutters through the first few sentences before being able to speak coherently. She’s always needed time to be comfortable around him, always started over every time he approaches her.

This… This is quite literally the only time he can think of that she’s immediately jumped into conversation with him.

“Adrien?” she probes, and he immediately jumps to attention, shaking his head.

“Yeah, no of course, the akuma you were mentioning?”

She gives him an amused look, mirth dancing in her eyes before it falters.

“They managed to aim at me,” she tells him, her gaze far-off. “And I… I told one of my closest friends that I’ve been in love with him.”

Adrien finds himself staring at her in shock, watching as she hunched her shoulders further up. The seconds tick by slowly as he freezes in one spot. “I’m, so sorry? God, that must’ve been _awful_.”

She looks up at him with a smile this time, and Adrien returns it. As a peaceful silence finally settles around them, Adrien continues to stare.

He’d been so sure, so _so sure_ , that Marinette had a crush on him. Had he… had he just been wrong?

Or did she move on because he never outwardly reciprocated her interest?

It’s not that he doesn’t like her. She’s amazing, always so expressive and ready to run around for anyone. He’d greatly enjoyed being able to save her from akumas in the past, enjoyed knowing that there were some things he could rescue her from. She was such a busy person, it brought him joy to know she could be his damsel his distress when he was Chat.

But. He couldn’t, in full consciousness, admit that he liked her. It felt like a betrayal to Ladybug, and he’d only recently vowed to never give her a single reason to questions how he felt about her.

Having feelings for someone? Yeah, that was a big no-no.

When they finally manage to catch up with Nino and Alya at the cafe, Alya discreetly shoots him a thumbs-up.

Adrien has to smother the smile trying to take over his face.

* * *

 Akumas don’t take breaks, and neither does Ladybug’s determination.

The shift from their usual banter is pretty obvious to Chat. Ladybug doesn’t react to his puns, doesn’t roll her eyes before contributing her own. She just points out what object they need to break before swinging her yoyo and attacking. Chat may as well have just sat on the floor, with all the work he seemed to do.

She hurriedly taps their fists together before rushing away.

And in the brief second before she leaves, Chat notices the tears gathering in her eyes.

* * *

 Adrien’s bag sails through the air before thumping against the wall. Plagg would’ve scolded him, if he hadn’t noticed that his chosen was crying.

They spend the next few hours like that, Plagg silently watching from the windowsill as Adrien cries his heart out.

And Adrien just.

He wants to understand. He really really does.

But he doesn’t understand why Ladybug is so, so insistent that his feelings aren’t real. He’d never given her a reason to doubt him about anything. She’d promised that she trusted him.

So why…?

“There’s no use,” Plagg finally says, Adrien’s eyes flying towards the cat kwami. “You won’t get answers like this. Why don’t you talk to that classmate of yours? The one with the pigtails?”

Adrien reels. “Marinette? Why?”

Plagg sighs, muttering something before raising his volume for properly clarity. “Because she’s in the same boat as Ladybug, right? The akuma told a close friends of hers about her feelings. Maybe if you know _her_ reasons, you can understand why Ladybug’s ignoring you.”

Adrien contemplates, before shaking his head. “That’s stupid.”

Plagg only sighs.

* * *

The next time Ladybug tries to run away, Chat’s grip on her wrist stops her.

“I just want to know what I did wrong, My Lady.”

She stares at him for a minute, prompting him to rush to speak again.

“What did I do to make you think my feelings aren’t real?”

Her hand still struggles to escape his, before she finally gives up and purses her lips.

“Are you aware you’ve met my civilian form?” When he’s startled into dropping her hand, she adds, “As Chat Noir.”

Chat stares at her, open-mouthed, as her eyes harden.

“I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Thought that maybe you just flirted with me. But the moment you saw me? The inner catsanova just came out to play.”

Before Chat could retaliate, Ladybug makes a face, and he realizes she unintentionally made a cat pun.

“Maybe I just recognized you deep down, Buginette.”

Her reply is to glare before leaving him behind again.

* * *

Adrien finds himself sitting next to Marinette that Sunday, watching her obliterate him in Ultimate Mecha Strike III. After Ladybug’s abrupt departure, he’d detransformed, shoved Camembert in Plagg’s face, and texted Marinette to ask if he could come over.

She hadn’t even questioned him as she said yes.

“How are things going with your friend?” slips past his lips just as she’s delivering the final blow, and her hand falters as the words register in her mind. Once Adrien kills her character, he looks to find her upset.

“Not good,” she finally manages, shooting him a weak smile. “I’m… kind of being unfair to him.”

His mouth feels dry for reasons he can’t comprehend. “How so?”

“I just…”

Marinette’s eyes are sparkling with tears, Adrien notes dully. There’s a desperation chilling her to the very core.

“I’m terrified,” she whispers, and her voice is so vulnerable, it kills Adrien. “And it’s not fair, but I just… can’t deal with it, you know?” And then, her eyes are intense as she stares him in the eye. “I don’t want to deal with that pain again.”

Adrien’s breath is stuck in his throat, chest constricting. The look she’s giving him is somewhat destroyed, and his heart thumps. His mind screams incoherently, but before he can say anything, Marinette turns back to the screen.

“Another round?”

And then their conversation is lost in the entire day.

But late at night, Adrien still replays the shattered look in her eyes.

He wonders if he's the one who caused it.

* * *

 Marinette smiles at him mid-laugh, encouraging him as they continue ribbing Nino about Alya’s absence. He freezes.

It reminds him too much of steeled blue eyes and a swinging yoyo.

* * *

He doesn’t remember ever flirting with a civilian. There’s only one instance he even remembers being close enough to one.

* * *

“Marinette,” Chat Noir’s voice calls out to his red-clad partner. Her back stiffens, and she turns to him with wide eyes. “I do care for you, you know?”

She gives him the ghost of a smile. “Trust me, I know.”

He nods, and she turns to leave again, before stopping in contemplation. Ladybug faces Chat Noir, the night deluding them into seeing nothing but each other. With every step she takes closer, Chat’s breath stops, until they’re close enough to share body heat. 

Her arms wrap around his, and Chat knows his partner is apologizing in her own silent way. 

He is used to this, the unsaid apologies, has lived with them all his life, but Ladybug still delivers the words against his cheek before swinging away.

* * *

Adrien sleeps peacefully for the first time since Valentine’s Day that night. 


End file.
